I am good at making unordered lists, however. Onward and twirling!
- I don’t have much to say. Um, yeah. Except in some cases…
- I have too much to say. When I really get going on a subject, I’ll end up with walls of text about space probes or megabytes or hamburgers. tl;dr
- I lack focus. My blog is too general to even appeal to me.
- I’d rather do than write. I’ve tried to write about my interests, but writing about them necessarily takes time away from doing them.
- I lack the ego. It really takes the wind out of my sails when there are hundreds of millions of blogs and there is literally no reason for anyone except the people I know to read mine. Besides, I could just tell them what I want to say directly. But then they don’t get to deal with my superfluous italicizing.
- I never know how to end a post. Um, yeah.
Time-traveling bosons can try as hard as they want, but the Large Hadron Collider’s real Achilles’ Heel? Bread. And birds, apparently.
A bird dropping a piece of bread onto outdoor machinery has been blamed for a technical fault at the Large(LHC) this week which saw significant overheating on parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic safety detectors would have shut down the machine.
I admit there are some eventualities you just can’t plan for, but come on! How are you going to destroy the world if you’re thwarted by bread?! I mean… no.
(via Universe Today, Bread Dropped By Bird Causes Problems for LHC.)
On this, the last day of NaNoWriMo, I am bringing closure to The Dan Brown Code, the novel that was not meant to be, by offering DVD-like extra features and deleted scenes.
Time to throw in the towel. There will be no last minute rallying this year. By this time last year I had written well more than twice the words. Plus, despite thinking it a ridiculous notion, the characters actually took on a life of their own in Megalomania! and helped push the story along. Their personalities evolved naturally, and dictated their actions in the situations I created.
The Dan Brown Code was a flimsy idea based on my flimsy understanding of mystery novels and the utter inability to just let wacky things happen and move on. The reason Megalomania! works (as the overall concept of a story, if not the exact words I wrote) is because of its structure and adherence to “reality,” the very same two things that make The Dan Brown Code a colossal failure. But I’m not too upset. I had no drive to see Richard and Holly to the end of their story.
I’ll just chalk this up to the nature of NaNoWriMo. I’ve seen many people who succeeded one year only to fail the next. Though the reasons differ, I think a lot of it is overconfidence. Of course I can write a novel this year! I did last year, didn’t I? The third year in the sequence will see a return to success, however. I know I can do it (Megalomania!) and I know what not to do (The Dan Brown Code). Besides, this means that there’s one less novel of mine for people not to read.
I’ve come to realize that I have broken that most simple of rules, “write what you know.” I don’t know mystery, that much is clear. Suspense and intrigue are also foreign. Also, as predicted, the concept has drifted from “parody sort of thing” to “amusing adventure sort of thing” which is getting dangerously close to “fan fiction.” It was okay for Megalomania! to drift from its comedic roots and become an adventure, because the characters existed in a universe of my creation for the sake of doing whatever I told them to do. By including a real person, I am left in an awkward state. If done correctly, I have something like a Being John Malkovich. If not, I’m left with a Stephen Colbert and the Time Machine, Part 1.
I think I’m going to take the adventure and run with it, and maybe even try to tack on some silly. That is, if I even have any hope of finishing at all. So far behind…
So, yeah. It’s time to stop using my progress last year as a crutch and start writing like I should. I know that I can magically whip up the words I need by the end of the month, but I don’t want to do that. It is now my goal to write either 2200 words a day for the rest of the month, or be at 22,000 words by the end of Sunday, which will put me back on track for the standard 1667 words a day. I know that I said something like this last week, but this time I’ll do it. We supposedly get part of the day off of work tomorrow, so that will help.
My characters are all stuck in ruts, it seems. I know that exciting things will happen to them, but they’re just sort of milling about waiting for me to get them there. Maybe I should take a cue from Dan Brown and make little bite-sized chapters. Or not.
Oh, this is not going well. Conventional math says that I need about 7500 more words to be on schedule. Non-conventional math says that I’m over √56y(Ө⅛) words behind, which may not be as bad but looks a lot more intimidating. To help myself feel better, here is the first paragraph of my novel translated into Spanish, then back to English.
Murder. It was always the murder. It was never a braided kitten, or perhaps an accident of the hornada one. The firemen generally inside for the kittens were called, although, and the assassins were not generally great in merchandise cooked to the furnace. Of course, they had to eat at a certain point, but they ate probably something smooth like tofu or the British food. The dessert would consist of empanada of the apple… a murder of. But mainly empanada. Man, he was hungry. The detective reached closest in the car of the squadron to call after the reserve in the form of pies.