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I am good at making unordered lists, however. Onward and twirling!

• I don’t have much to say. Um, yeah. Except in some cases…
• I have too much to say. When I really get going on a subject, I’ll end up with walls of text about space probes or megabytes or hamburgers. tl;dr
• I lack focus. My blog is too general to even appeal to me.
• I’d rather do than write. I’ve tried to write about my interests, but writing about them necessarily takes time away from doing them.
• I lack the ego. It really takes the wind out of my sails when there are hundreds of millions of blogs and there is literally no reason for anyone except the people I know to read mine. Besides, I could just tell them what I want to say directly. But then they don’t get to deal with my superfluous italicizing.
• I never know how to end a post. Um, yeah.

Time-traveling bosons can try as hard as they want, but the Large Hadron Collider’s real Achilles’ Heel?  Bread.  And birds,  apparently.

A bird dropping a piece of bread onto outdoor machinery has been blamed for a technical fault at the Large Hadron Collider (LHC) this week which saw significant overheating on parts of the accelerator. The LHC was not operational at the time of the incident, but the spike produced so much heat that had the beam been on, automatic safety detectors would have shut down the machine.

I admit there are some eventualities you just can’t plan for, but come on!  How are you going to destroy the world if you’re thwarted by bread?!  I mean… no.

(via Universe Today, Bread Dropped By Bird Causes Problems for LHC.)

I wrote this a long time ago and just can’t bring myself to delete it, much like my hard drive post, so you get to be subjected to more of my ramblings and inane puns. We go back, now, to a simpler time when commercials for Very Large Burgers from various eateries captivated the minds and stomachs and maybe spleens of America.

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Seriously, I am way geeking out in this post. If it weren’t for the fact I wrote so much without realizing it, I would delete this post just as quick as all the others (this is post number 325, yet I only have 155 on my blog. Hmm…). Still, if things like file system jokes sound like your idea of a chuckle, then by all means read on.

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Today in the mail I received no fewer than three of these flyers:

This calls to mind an equal number of questions.

• Was one of these flyers not enough to secure my interest in a Boom Boom Huckjam?
• What, in the name of of God’s green Earth, is a Boom Boom Huckjam?
• Why are these being sent to me in the first place?

Truly questions for the ages. Luckily, I have some time on my hands, so I can get to answering them now.

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We aren’t out of the woods yet, folks. Another earthquake, possibly a 4.1 or 4.4, could be lurking just around the corner, waiting to pounce and knock your lamp over! Thus frightened, it is now my obligation to almost but not entirely allay your fears with my new feature: Earthquake Watch 2005.

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On this, the first day of 2005, I feel compelled like so many to title my post with a pun. I mean, make a list of my New Year’s resolutions. What do you mean it’s the fifth? I’ve had enough of your cynicism.

Monitors have resolutions. The UN has resolutions. I’ve never really been one for resolutions. Still, now is a time for looking forward and possibly sideways. Diagonally, if necessary. But mostly forward!

• Update my blog regularly. Seems simple enough. I give it until March.
• Finish editing my novel. Seems simple enough. It’ll probably take me ’til October.
• Stop using puns. I was originally going to title this post “I’m Feeling List-less,” but that wasn’t quite as relevant. I give this resolution about 11 nanoseconds.
• Go back to school. I believe there is nothing more important than – HA! Really had you going there, didn’t I?
• Turn my web page into a leading center of commerce and scientific exploration. Wait, that’s Deep Space Nine.
• Come up with some actual resolutions. This whole post really went nowhere, didn’t it?

So there you have it. Proof that I am not a resoluting kind of guy. I could mention my “to-do” list that would wrap around the planet three and a half times, but it’s full of terribly mundane things like “get a new chair,” “fix the broken fence,” and “put a person on Mars by the end of the decade.”