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As you may have deduced, NaNoWriMo is not a thing that I will be finishing, or for that matter, really even starting.  Turns out that school is a rather time-intensive endeavor, one that does not lend itself well to flights of writing fancy!  I do like the idea of writing some short stories, though, so all is not lost.  Just most of it.  Maybe a mid-Summer WriMo is in order.

I almost can’t believe that I’ve had this blog in some form or another for 5 years now. The sad thing is that I don’t have more content to show for it.  Outside of some science puns and NaNoWriMo 2004, it’s pretty bleak.  Well, might as well stick to what I know. This year I am fully intending, despite distractions like “work” or “school,” to participate in NaNoWriMo.  And oh yes, there will be science puns.

Instead of writing one novel, which can really wear a person out, I want to write a bunch of  short stories.  If a NaNo attempt is partly a terrible decision, here is the other part: I want your suggestions for titles of stories.  Not plots, just titles.  I already have a few titles in my head, like the following which I found while cleaning up some old documents (and can’t even remember writing).

JT Admiral Makes a Sandwich

“I’m hungry,” JT Admiral announced to his empty office. The office, unsurprisingly, did not respond. Satisfied that the room hadn’t gained sentience when he wasn’t looking, JT set out to make a sandwich. His quest was quickly curtailed by the fact that Omega 12, the curiously shiny space station he called home, was under attack by an unknown force.

“Egad!” he exclaimed.

“Admiral!” a nearby crewman of some sort shouted, “The station is under attack by an unknown force!”

Having recently used ‘egad’ to express surprise, the Admiral needed to choose a backup interjection.  “Gadzooks!” he exclaimed.

It’s sort of cheating since there’s a bit written already, but I just won’t apply it toward my word count.  So then, dear readers, toss a few titles my way and we’ll see what sticks.

On this, the last day of NaNoWriMo, I am bringing closure to The Dan Brown Code, the novel that was not meant to be, by offering DVD-like extra features and deleted scenes.

(continue reading…)

Time to throw in the towel. There will be no last minute rallying this year. By this time last year I had written well more than twice the words. Plus, despite thinking it a ridiculous notion, the characters actually took on a life of their own in Megalomania! and helped push the story along. Their personalities evolved naturally, and dictated their actions in the situations I created.

The Dan Brown Code was a flimsy idea based on my flimsy understanding of mystery novels and the utter inability to just let wacky things happen and move on. The reason Megalomania! works (as the overall concept of a story, if not the exact words I wrote) is because of its structure and adherence to “reality,” the very same two things that make The Dan Brown Code a colossal failure. But I’m not too upset. I had no drive to see Richard and Holly to the end of their story.

I’ll just chalk this up to the nature of NaNoWriMo. I’ve seen many people who succeeded one year only to fail the next. Though the reasons differ, I think a lot of it is overconfidence. Of course I can write a novel this year! I did last year, didn’t I? The third year in the sequence will see a return to success, however. I know I can do it (Megalomania!) and I know what not to do (The Dan Brown Code). Besides, this means that there’s one less novel of mine for people not to read.

I’ve come to realize that I have broken that most simple of rules, “write what you know.” I don’t know mystery, that much is clear. Suspense and intrigue are also foreign. Also, as predicted, the concept has drifted from “parody sort of thing” to “amusing adventure sort of thing” which is getting dangerously close to “fan fiction.” It was okay for Megalomania! to drift from its comedic roots and become an adventure, because the characters existed in a universe of my creation for the sake of doing whatever I told them to do. By including a real person, I am left in an awkward state. If done correctly, I have something like a Being John Malkovich. If not, I’m left with a Stephen Colbert and the Time Machine, Part 1.

I think I’m going to take the adventure and run with it, and maybe even try to tack on some silly. That is, if I even have any hope of finishing at all. So far behind…

So, yeah. It’s time to stop using my progress last year as a crutch and start writing like I should. I know that I can magically whip up the words I need by the end of the month, but I don’t want to do that. It is now my goal to write either 2200 words a day for the rest of the month, or be at 22,000 words by the end of Sunday, which will put me back on track for the standard 1667 words a day. I know that I said something like this last week, but this time I’ll do it. We supposedly get part of the day off of work tomorrow, so that will help.

My characters are all stuck in ruts, it seems. I know that exciting things will happen to them, but they’re just sort of milling about waiting for me to get them there. Maybe I should take a cue from Dan Brown and make little bite-sized chapters. Or not.

Oh, this is not going well. Conventional math says that I need about 7500 more words to be on schedule. Non-conventional math says that I’m over √56y(Ө⅛) words behind, which may not be as bad but looks a lot more intimidating. To help myself feel better, here is the first paragraph of my novel translated into Spanish, then back to English.

Murder. It was always the murder. It was never a braided kitten, or perhaps an accident of the hornada one. The firemen generally inside for the kittens were called, although, and the assassins were not generally great in merchandise cooked to the furnace. Of course, they had to eat at a certain point, but they ate probably something smooth like tofu or the British food. The dessert would consist of empanada of the apple… a murder of. But mainly empanada. Man, he was hungry. The detective reached closest in the car of the squadron to call after the reserve in the form of pies.